Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, by Mark Goulston M.D.
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Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, by Mark Goulston M.D.
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Foreword by Keith Ferrazzi, author of "Never Eat Alone" and "Who's Got Your Back" More than 100,000 copies sold! Do you ever feel like you're talking to a brick wall? The first step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. But whether the person is a cynical colleague, furious customer, or overwhelmed spouse, their emotional barriers may be blocking your message. And if you can't break through, you can't move forward. "Just Listen" has helped tens of thousands of people tear down walls and establish productive communication. In this landmark book, veteran psychiatrist and business coach Mark Goulston reveals simple, proven techniques for moving people from resistance to consensus, explaining how to: Listen effectively - Make even a total stranger--perhaps a potential client--feel "felt" - Shift an angry or aggressive person into a calmer, more receptive state - Use empathy jolts to quickly bridge communication gaps -Turn negative people into assets using the "Magic Paradox" - Achieve buy-in, the linchpin of all negotiation, persuasion, and sales - And more Barricades between people become barriers to success and happiness, so getting through is not just a fine art--it's a crucial skill. With "Just Listen," readers learn how to transform the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into true allies, loyal customers, and lifelong friends.
Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, by Mark Goulston M.D.- Amazon Sales Rank: #14671 in Books
- Brand: AMACOM
- Published on: 2015-03-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.81" h x .60" w x 6.46" l, .84 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
From Publishers Weekly Goulston (Get Out of Your Own Way at Work) returns with a primer on dealing with hard-to-reach people in virtually every scenario—defiant executives, angry employees, families in turmoil, warring couples—through use of well-honed psychological techniques. Negotiating intractable situations is like driving up a steep hill, he posits, but most of us make the mistake of creating more resistance by shifting up; downshift, and you get control, he writes. His Persuasion Cycle filters illustrative snippets from counseling sessions during which he digs into an impressive bag of tricks—Magic Paradox, Impossibility Question, Empathy Jolt—techniques like martial arts moves: potent on their own, but even more powerful when you combine them. His successful persuasion case studies include negotiating a police standoff and assisting a married couple's conflict resolution. Chapter summaries feature action steps preparing readers to encounter similar scenarios, yielding a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful. (Sept.) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
[starred review] “Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and FBI hostage-negotiation trainer, Goulston provides brilliant yet doable techniques for getting through to others... This book transcends the self-help category by promoting real communication.” --Library Journal
“an impressive bag of tricks… a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful” --Publishers Weekly
"The most useful (five-star) book on communicating... Everyone can be a better communicator with the right knowledge, and this book makes learning interesting and easy." --Lindsey Novak, nationally syndicated "At Work" columnist
"It's a measure of how contentious work relationships can get that the author, a psychiatrist, draws on hostage-negotiation techniques to instruct readers on how to deal with 'defiant executives, angry employees or self-destructing management teams'.... Mission accomplished." --Time Magazine
"useful and applicable techniques and strategies for everything from getting teams to work together, to handling narcissistic clients (or is that a redundancy?), and getting your message across to even the most impenetrable people" --Accounting Today
"Just Listen is a banquet of approaches and ideas that's easy to devour the first time around, and a flavorful feast whenever you use portions as a reference book. It's certainly one of the best how-to books of the year." --Inland Empire Business Journal
"A primer on dealing with hard-to-reach people in virtually every scenario -- defiant executives, angry employees, families in turmoil, warring couples -- through use of well-honed psychological techniques. Illustrative snippets from counseling session reveal martial-arts like techniques: potent on their own, but even more powerful when you combine them. Chapter summaries feature action steps preparing readers to encounter similar scenarios, yielding a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful." --CareerBuilder.com
"Just Listen is not only helpful for any kind of business, it teaches a skill that will aid you outside of the office too." --Niche Magazine
"Just Listen is an excellent guide for learning how to break down barriers." --Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
“We’re all held captive when someone refuses to communicate. [Goulston’s] 12 easy tools to achieve buy-in and seven fast fixes for challenging situations are particularly helpful for everyday use.” --Working Strategies
“Who would benefit from reading Just Listen? I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t —customer service staff, managers, salespeople, parents, you name it…” --The Chronicle Herald
“Goulston helps the reader to learn how to get through to anyone.” --Business Now Magazine
“…offers nine core rules for reaching anyone, from Beelzebub down to the lowliest staffer, as well as a host of easy-to-use tools, concrete action steps, and illuminating examples.” --Accounting Today
“We all have difficult and unpleasant conversations throughout our lives…Mark gives us the key to not only making these conversations smoother, but help you communicate on a deeper level.” --Optimized Geek
“Hell, Sartre pointed out, is other people, but it turns out that there are ways to make them less devilish…trick is to learn to really listen in the way described by this book.” --Accounting Today
"[Mark Goulston] understands communication, and he understands people…Who would benefit from reading Just Listen? I can't think of anyone who wouldn't.” --The Chronicle Herald
“…useful insights into opening anyone up—a recalcitrant vendor, a desirable prospect, a client dragging ass….Goulston’s words gave me sizable goosebumps.” --Forbes.com
Review
"'Just Listen' could be the definitive book on communication--today's generation's How to Win Friends and Influence People."-Marty Nemko, Contributing Editor, U.S. News & World Report
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Most helpful customer reviews
219 of 225 people found the following review helpful. Your Consultative Sales Playbook By Jennifer E. Sertl Everywhere I turn I am being advised to leverage social media. There is even the new concept of " 33 million people in the room." With so many channels and methods to communicate to higher levels of influence and greater numbers in an audience, it is refreshing to know that the playing field is still relatively flat. Just because you have access to people, doesn't mean you are making IMPACT. Mark Goulston's, "Just Listen" is filled with realistic scenarios, assessment tests, and a real candid mirror.If you aren't getting the results you want in your personal or professional life, there is probably a reason within your control--you probably aren't an effective communicator. In pure Gouldston style--you are hit right between the eyes. In Section II Goulston shares his "nine core rules:"1. Move yourself from "oh F#@& to OK"2. Rewire yourself to listen3. Make the other person feel "felt"4. Be more interested than interesting5. Make people feel valuable6. Help people to exhale emotionally and mentally7. Check your dissonance at the door8. When all seems lost bare your neck9. Steer clear of toxic peopleYou might read over this list and "yeah, yeah, yeah I do those things already." Do you? Do you really? What makes "Just Listen" so powerful is that Goulston shares several examples where he was out of alignment with these nine core rules. His transparency forces the reader to be more reflective and take personal responsibility. Creating dissonance is the barrier I most need to resolve. I could see myself in several of the practical scenarios outlined. Having raised awareness I was sure this week would be different. The hardest part about being human is . . . well, being human. We think we are smart, using our prefrontal cortex--where long term decision making, cause-effect thinking take place-and then we make a choice just a little wiser than a reptile. Bottom line is--just because we are aware of something that needs to change; that awareness doesn't guarantee change. Being effective truly requires introspection, practice and patience. "Just Listen" is not a quick read. It is a workbook, a playbook, and flight plan. For the wisdom here to truly support sustainable progress, you might be keeping it as accessible as your blackberry. Sales managers, marriage counselors, teachers, and spouses "Just Listen" is the greatest gift you could give yourself to enhance your own awareness and ability to reach those who are most important to you. Just read!
172 of 188 people found the following review helpful. Just Listen to this! By Peter B. Patch Just Listen:It's Labor Day, and I can't stop reading my new favorite book!The book is `Just Listen,' by Mark Goulston.As I read it, I find that each of his messages `hit's home' in three ways at once: it is simple to understand, easy to remember, and directly actionable. I find myself wanting to have my next big client interview right away - so I can try out these `easy to remember - easy to apply' techniques of communication.What do I remember from the book? A series of `burning insights':First, that my `reptile brain' (or amygdala) kicks in when I am `reactive' or `ballistic' (as I am on occasion), but if I can put a label on my feeling at that point - `I am upset' or `I am angry,' I can begin to get control over my response.Mark carries this forward to the point where I can begin to have a `rational' conversation with myself, using my `human brain' - and, for example, with my wife(!) - but I'll leave that to him as he describes it in the book.Key note: The point here is to `Listen to myself' and my own internal reactions. As Mark puts it, `if you want to open the lines of communication, open your own mind first.'A second `burning insight': Make the other person `feel felt.' This one requires a kind of emotional intelligence - the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes. When you learn to do it, you will find the `barriers' to communication begin to come down, and the window (or door) to building a new possibility of relationship begin to open.A third `burning insight': How to increase the `PEP' in your business - or your family. `PEP' stands for passion, enthusiasm, and pride. I'll give you a hint - only try this one if you've got a thick skin.A fourth `burning insight': `How to make the impossible possible.'I know - this one sounds like a `stretch.' It is - but that is exactly the point: It stretches our minds. This one looks at what could make something seemingly impossible into something that - while challenging - could suddenly begin to seem possible.Once again, by changing the mental frame from which we look at a situation, new possibilities begin to emerge. That, of course, is a central message of the whole book.But by capturing those situations in which I (we) find ourselves - or our responses - or our conversations - or our relationships (seemingly) blocked, or unworkable - Mark keeps showing ways to `untie' the Gordian knot, and make forward progress.If you find any Gordian knots in yourself, or your communications, or your relationships - I heartily recommend this book.It just may be the simplest, easiest - and most powerful - book I ever read.So - try it yourself. On yourself. On your relationships. I think you'll find new possibilities, and newly achievable outcomes showing up in your life. Actually, I would bet on it.Peter Patch (Stanford MBA, Harvard Doctoral Program in Business & Economics)
102 of 112 people found the following review helpful. Insightful, Practical, Useful and a Great Read By Peter Winick This book is a must read for anyone that would like to decrease the frustration levels in their life and become more effective by focusing on the "other side" of communicating, listening. Written in a style that is easy to read, engaging and entertaining Dr Goulston doesn't bog you down with the typical shrink babble; instead throughout the book there are stories and examples that everyone can relate to. More importantly the tips and solutions on how to easily implement a solution are logical, practical and more importantly doable-- and they work!
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